Kelty Press
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From Another Era: Mom’s Lie
I was completing forms to qualify Dad for Medi-Cal
when I asked Mom her birthdate. She rattled off a date, then immediately
looked anxious.
Her daughters sat on either side of her at the round conference table.
In exact synchronization—as though a string connected their heads—each
daughter turned her face towards her mother. Emotions played across
their faces: puzzlement followed by surprise and then dawning anger
at the realization that Mom had lied to them all these years about
her birthdate.
The daughters exercised wonderful self-control.
Neither said a word as I ignored the unspoken interplay and continued
through the forms
with Mom’s strained assistance. Where before each daughter had leaned
forward to participate in the process, now each sat back in her chair,
wryly observing the proceedings. On my left I could see the eldest
daughter’s crossed leg moving up and down in deliberate contemplation.
I worked hard not to smile. I could smell a confrontation a’coming.
Finally I couldn’t stand the tension. I said I had to leave the room
to get another form. I was closing the door when I heard eldest daughter
begin: “Mother, is there something we should know about?” Wisely, I
stayed out the room until their raised voices died down.
In a conversation several days later, the eldest
daughter confided to me that Mother had lied about her birthdate
to cover the fact she
was two years older than their father. Though piqued at her mother’s
duplicity, this daughter also understood and forgave her mother’s actions. “Back
in her day it was not socially acceptable for a man to marry ‘an older
woman,’ ” she told me, shaking her head, “It couldn’t have been easy
for Mom, lying about that all these years.
Robert J Cullen
July 2003
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